What am I telling myself?

Have you ever wondered how many thoughts you have in a day? Would you believe an estimated sixty thousand every day? Many of these thoughts are reoccurring, playing the same recording over and over in our heads. What a bunch of noise!

To take a step further, have you ever noticed how many of these thoughts are self-defeating, and tear our us down? They may sound like this, "I can't believe I just did that, what a looser," or "they must think I am such a idiot or so dumb for acting that way," or "there is no way I can do that, and what if I fail, then what will I do?"

What we choose to think about, (some may obsess on it) many times becomes a belief about ourselves. We start to accept it as truth. If we believe it as truth, can you see how it runs our lives and how if filters into our relationships, work environment, even our recreational activities?

Remember - thoughts produce behaviour and behaviour produces action.

Consider the following questions:

• How are these self-defeating thoughts benefiting me?
  
• How are they playing out or running my life?
  
• How are they keeping me stuck?
  
• Who would I be without these thoughts?

Strategies:

• Awareness is the key. Become conscious of all the noise in our heads. Try the following exercises to help raise your awareness.
  
• Put 50 paper clips in your right pocket. Every time you have a self-defeating, negative thought, take one paper clip out of your right pocket and put into your left pocket. At the end of the day, notice (don't judge or beat yourself up) how many paper clips are in your left pocket.
  
• Take 10 minutes ever day to quiet the noise. Write about it - get it out of your head, meditate, or talk it out with someone who will listen and support you in a positive way.
  
• Notice who you spend your time with. Are they "feeding" this type of thinking?
  
• When you catch these self-defeating thoughts, say to yourself or write down what will build you up. For example, the self-defeating thought may be, "I am not smart enough to..." re-train the thought to this, "I love and accept myself, I have the ability and the desire to learn new things."

Quotes:

“... fix your attention on God. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. You will be changed from the inside out." Romans 12:2 – Message/NIV

" For as a man thinketh in his heart, so he is." Proverbs 23:7 KJV

“How often – even before we began – have we declared a task “impossible?” And how often have we constructed a picture of ourselves as being inadequate?... A great deal depends upon the thought patterns we choose and on the persistence with which we affirm them.” Piero Ferrucci

Resources:

The Power of Now - by Eckhart Tolle

Emotional Freedom Technique

The NLP Advantage

I find that entertaining self-defeating thoughts is the core of where many people find themselves stuck. So I'm curious:

• For those of you who have worked with others in this area, what resources, tools or strategies have worked well for you?
  
• For those of you who have done work in your own life, what has helped you make a shift in your thinking process?
  
• For those of you who feel stuck in this area, what is your biggest challenge? What has worked for you so far?

I believe that working on this area is a life journey, and it is one that is so important to look at. There are huge payoffs in taking an honest look and making the decision to expand and learn new ways to make a shift in this area of our lives.

Thank you for sharing your wisdom